When you’re driving in a Chevy and your pants are getting heavy…diarrhea

It’s official. I have joined the Mom’s club. Pregnancy got me the application, labor, got me the interview. So what got me in the door…a baby with stomach flu! I have smugly sat for the last 10 ½ months watching everyone else’s kids get sick while mine was healthy. Sure the occasional runny nose or cough but nothing worth a doctors visit. Well this week that has all changed. On Tuesday we had a bit of vomiting in the afternoon (no surprise as J barfs all the time!) but it was a bit more than normal but nothing that I was worried about. Next he barfed at Cobs – more embarrassing for me than worrisome.

Then we fed him dinner (BIG mistake) he gave us a substantial vomit after that. So now R and I are thinking maybe his tummy is a little upset (DUH!) So I offered him a little piece of bread (what was I thinking???) He ate it then looked at me a little funny. It was like slow mo – I pushed the high chair away from the table, the barf flew from J’s little body. I felt it splatter on my toes. I look down (crap my new shoes) the floor under the table was being shellacked with vomit. The high chair was covered, J was covered, the floor was covered and it just kept coming.

We got several more episodes that night (got to change the crib and J once.) Then the diarrhea hit. We have changed bedding; J and I have changed clothes several times today. I went to the doctor – I was told “Yeah babies do this. It will probably last another 24 hours.” WHAT!!!! Sorry, no way. I want a second opinion. Cranky baby, poop encrusted clothes, laundry everywhere – I AM DONE! But it was not to be - I got home from the doctor – round 5 – another bath for J, more laundry for me. R has him somewhere in the house and I am going to go clean the floor under his exosaucer-like thing as poo shot out his pant leg and all over the floor. The glamour of motherhood – and we only get one day of celebration. Happy Mother’s Day!