Ryan or Sponge Bob?

I love my hubby but sometimes I wish we had separate beds! Yesterday night I couldn’t sleep. I am flipping and flopping around in bed. I am creating lists of things that need to be done, cars I’d like to buy, things I can blog about, I even counted backwards from 100 to 1.

Just as I find a comfortable position, Ryan rolls over jabs me with his elbow and huffs a big stinky breath right in my face. Ewwwwwwww! Then he starts this loud breathing through his nose, and snaps his teeth together. Huff, snap, snap, huff, snap, snap! I kick him, he rolls over. Ahhh, peace at last. Okay get comfortable again. He rolls back – now he is breathing right onto my face. I hate that warm stale air wafting over my face. So I poke, kick, and annoy him until he moves – he is still totally alseep. A few minutes late he is snoring – so I turn on the light and read for awhile.

At 2:30am I turn the light off, the snoring has stopped, and teeth snapping is gone, even the breathing is quiet. I get nice and comfy and then the elbow jabs out and the leg wings over. After 7 years of being married shouldn’t he know which side of the bed is mine??? Do I need to draw a line on our bedding so he knows? When it is time to sleep there is no crossing the line!

I finally get comfortable, and prop a spare pillow between us – to keep the breath on his side and to protect me from any more assaulting limbs. I start to ponder whether my grandparents have the right idea with 2 twin beds. There would be no breathing in my face, no elbow jabs to the head or ribs, no kicks in the leg, just my space. Then I thought about winter – where am I going to warm my cold toes (okay frigid toes)?? Would I crawl into his bed if I had a bad dream? Have you seen the bedding for twin size? Everything is cartoons – do I really want Dora or Sponge Bob on my bed??

So Sponge Bob is out and Ryan gets to stay. Maybe a king size would work better???